my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The Olympian is in my bed
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
