we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
