I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
