There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
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He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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