guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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