is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
