Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How external is "for external use only"?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
