It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
