I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
