her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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