Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
