3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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