hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
