I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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