No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
