eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
