Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
