i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
