we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
