will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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