No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
