somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
