Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
