It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
