We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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