I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize