One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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