So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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