We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
