we have pet lesbian snakes
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I won't apologize to a one balled man
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
