there's paper in my vomit.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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