also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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