Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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