Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
