ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
