my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
