I wanna bring you to show and tell
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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