I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
