If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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