awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize