Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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(513): View more from Ohio

he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am

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(713): View more from Texas

Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout

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(212): View more from New York

Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg

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