your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
