Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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