if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
