after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
