oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
