when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
