i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
