the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
