wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
