please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
