Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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