is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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