Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
