how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
