im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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