Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
