Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
