You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
