We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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