why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
