Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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