we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
